If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
