no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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