Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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