Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
