Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
