So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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