i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
