As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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