don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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