Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
