My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
