Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
