Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
