It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
