He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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