i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
