just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my being single is dangerous.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize