Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
you never un-have a 4some
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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