I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am midnight drunk by noon
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize