No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
