Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
