His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
