Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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