So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
there is puke in my bra ... again
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
