I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
