Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
