I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
