Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize