Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize