whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
