my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
