We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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