I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
