You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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