alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
