Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
