Dude my mom stole all your condoms
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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