What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
