I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
