Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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