I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
