I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
