I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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