I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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