and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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