Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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