He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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