I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
