Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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