Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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