He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I love having hate sex.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
