Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
