i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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