I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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