That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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