yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
