we have pet lesbian snakes
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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