we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
