I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
