You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
that may or may not have been my penis.
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