oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
