Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
