we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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