Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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