The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
