We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize